-
(24/12) Partied like mad on Xmas Eve at
Africa Mama's Club in Cuzco. Wasn't
hard to get drunk as all the orange and vodkas I had were triples
(default pouring size in Peru) and we were drinking at 3400 metres which
definitely gets you in the groove. In between dirty dancing with every
girl in the place and avoiding falling over, I kissed a rather lusty
little english girl called Meryl (have pictures!). All good healthy fun
but couldn't convert all the quick singles, fours and sixes into a
century and retired to the club house at 5am alone.
-
(25/12) Mother of all hang overs - not helped by
jet lag, altitude sickness, little sleep and copious amounts of vodka.
Had Subway for Xmas Dinner. Uggghhh.
-
(26/12) Started Inca
Trail. Hard going due to altitude sickness.
-
(27/12) Got talking to Steve, a Manchester bloke
who got held up by 4 banditos on a riding ranch in Costa Rica along with
40 other people. Was really bad as the four banditos strip searched
them all for valuables, put a pistol in the mouth of one guy who refused
to give over his valuables...and...put them all up against a wall,
facing the wall, and fired over their heads. They all thought they were
going to die. The guy who had the gun in his mouth cut short his
holiday and went home. V.scary shit.
-
(27/12) Stumbled into the english girl and her
friend's tent after too much Gato Negro (a cheap chateux cardboard wine)
and apparently (too drunk to remember) proposed a threesome in exchange
for the remains of a box of Jatz Crackers. Meryl's friend not too
impressed. Even less impressed by glove/finger shadow puppet that I
tried to entertain them with.
-
(28/12) Almost got
arrested by the Policia Naticional after I set off a whole lot of
fireworks on the last night of the Inca trail on the porch of the pub at
the campsite where we were staying. The fireworks sounded like bombs
going off and the whole pub went quickly silent. I think people thought
we were under attack by the Shining Path guerillas. Took a lot of
talking in broken spanish to convince the policeman that I was not a
marxist revolutionary and I had no more fireworks on me.
-
(29/12) Completed the Inca Trail the next day
and checked out Manchu Picchu. To celebrate, I played air guitar (Purple
Haze by Jimi Hendrix) on Huanya Picchu, the mountain over looking the
Manchu Picchu ruins. Getting away from
Manchu Picchu was a bit harder than anticipated as a rock slide
destroyed the road and railway and we had to tramp 8-10kms to Agua
Caliente, the next town after the rock slide. Still, had a hot spring
bath and a few beers to relax b4 jumping on the train back to Cuzco.
-
(30/12) Went out for a night's drinking at
Cross Keys pub with the people from
our tour. Was introduced to several lovely Chechua girls by Swampy, the
boys wizened pub cricket coach. Had noticed them aggressively eyeing us
up (quite freaky actually) but it took Swampy to get the game started.
Ended up hideously drunk and dancing at a discoteca that the girls took
us all to. Seeing that I was in trouble after a few slow overs and in
danger of being bowled out, Swampy took me aside and give me some advice
- "Simon, you are doing Real Simon, and frankly they are not impressed,
possibly even scared - especially with the dirty dancing shit. Forget
about Real Simon and act like Charming Simon." Well, to cut a long story
short, Swampy's advice paid off and at 5am, I found myself back at the
club house with a stunning Chechua girl called
Vanesa (again, I have pictures)
putting the finishing touches to a fine century.
-
(31/12 am) Alarm went off at 6.45am and I find
myself with 20 minutes to clear the hotel room so I could catch a train
to Puno on Lake Titicaca. Showered, packed bags
and left Vanesa behind. Felt really bad about that but there was
nothing I could do. Was especially embarassing when my cousin barged in
and started taking photos (will get copies). I gave the doorman 10 sols
(about USD$3) to let the girl sleep in and high tailed it for the train
station.
-
(31/12 pm) Got accosted by Puno's biggest drug
dealer near one of the plazas in Puno. Started having a 'where are you
from?' conversation which led to offers of firstly marijuna, and then
cocaine. Seeing that that was not working, he then asked us if we
wanted girls. I'm not going to go into the details of the above said
girl offer but if you have ever seen Cheech's speech outside the Titti-twister
Bar in the movie Dusk Till Dawn...you'll get a good idea of what he
said. Nonetheless, we turned him down.
-
(31/12 pm) New Years was
a bit ordinary and all the previous nights action had left me coming
down with a serious cold. (girl germs I think). Still, the show had to
go on. Puno was boring as all hell. Dan (the wingman) and I went to
several places including the best discoteca in town and they were all
pretty dead with a distinct lack of local or foreign talent. Rejected
Dan's idea of dropping all standards and going ugly (still shocked he
even suggested the idea). Ended up drinking sangria with the local boss
of the policia naticional in Puno, his friend and the friend's girl
friend. Was interesting talking to them and joking in my very bad
spanish. They thought my playing air guitarra on Manchu Picchu was
hilarious although were not to sure about my impressions of Bob Marley
smoking marijuana. 'Fumar or FUMAR' Got back to the club house at about
3am. Should have stayed in Cuzco which was much better by all accounts
and involved people running around the Plaza De Armas in yellow
underpants.
-
(01/01) Saw the reed people who live on floating
islands on Lake Titicaca. Very cool.
-
(02/01) Hit Copacabana,
Boliva. Was hysterically funny as the place was nothing like
Copacabana, Brazil and a couple of our crew were expecting to spend a
few days relaxing on the beach. In fact, Copacabana was really boring -
not a girl wearing a g-string bikini to be seen let alone any girls. As
it was, I wouldn't have beem up to it still as suffering from an
extremely nasty cold.
-
(03/01) In La Paz,
Boliva. Having a quiet night tonight in order to recover my strength
(and hopefully stop coughing up blood) for a big Friday night in La Paz.
Also tomorrow, we are going to a prison. "Mum, Dad, I'm in jail!!!"
-
(04/01) Failed to get into jail as Policia
shooed us off. Not allowed apparently. Cousin Jeremy however did
managed to talk his way into the prison later in the day and was
completely freaked out by the experience. There is a no man's land that
you cross and next thing you know, you are being toured around the jail
accompanied by a machete wielding gorilla of a bodyguard. Lots of the
prisoners had weapons and he even saw a bloody fight taking place in one
of cells. As he was walking out, a lot of the prisoners started
chanting 'Gringo, Gringo, Gringo'. This aroused the attention of one of
the guards who gave him a good punch in the head as he was leaving.
-
(04/01) Wandered around La Paz instead which was
nice. Checked out the main plazas and a modern art museum. Also
checked out the Witches market where you could by dried llama foetuses
of various sizes. Apparently, you burn them for good luck.
-
(05/01) Visited ruins outside La Paz called Tiwanacu,
a pre Inca civilisation. Was ordinary as far as ruins go but the guide
was really interesting and showed how the Tiwanacu influenced subsequent
Andean civilisations including the Incas. Had lots of cool 'Indiana
Jones' type idols which hadn't seen previously.
